Changing my mood with music.

When I was fifteen years old I was involved in a serious car crash whilst returning from a Christmas holiday in France.  It left me profoundly changed and I will never forget seeing a car careening towards me and thinking ‘this is it’.  My life didn’t quite flash before my eyes, but I certainly had enough time to think it was going to soon be over.

For months afterwards I had a renewed passion for life and my sullen teenage mind seemed rejuvenated and positive about life’s vast possibilities.  I felt anything was possible and that after being given a second chance I could make anything of my life. 

Sadly this didn’t last long and I went to the opposite extreme of plunging into a deep depression.  I couldn’t quite fathom why, but I felt suicidal and trapped by a sadness so deep there seemed to be no way to claw myself out. 

Both the high and low since the car crash were linked, but that didn’t stop the pain I was feeling in my life.  I couldn’t seem to bring myself back to some kind of middle ground.

One sunny summer afternoon I went to see The Eagles play their comeback tour at Wembley Stadium.  I sat and watched the support band and whilst I enjoyed the music, it didn’t touch me on anything other than a superficial level.  Then The Eagles came on and started their set.  The audience was in rapture.  The music thumped out.  The fans around me were good natured and talking to one another in their enjoyment and the sense of camaraderie was palpable.  Lights flashed in time to the guitars and drums and soon the party was in full swing.  I certainly appreciated the atmosphere around me, but I can’t say I was fully enjoying myself.

Then as the light started to fade in the sky the band started to play ‘Boys of Summer’.  From the opening knocking drumbeat and that addictive synthesizer riff something in me began to stir.  Clichéd as it may sound, sunlight broke through the clouds and backlit the clouds in a memorable and moving way.  The music continued to play and I remember looking to the sky as the music coursed through me.  As the chorus hit I breathed in deeply and thought to myself about how powerful the positive energy in the stadium was.  Everyone was having a great time and the power of the music was energising everyone.  I breathed out and imagined all the dark depression leaving me.  I actually felt something within me change as I did this.  I did this again, breathing in thinking about the positive energy of the music and crowd and breathing out the darkness that had been trapping me for what felt like so long.

By the time the song had ended I felt fundamentally changed and the rest of the concert resonated in a way the first half hadn’t.  I remember walking to the tube station afterwards.  I looked back at the stadium and felt some kind of equilibrium had come back into my life. 

I have since heard others talk of the restorative and healing power of music and whereas, before my experience, I may have scoffed, now I inwardly smile and know the truth of it.  I believe in the ability to fundamentally alter your mood with music (with certain limitations of course) and I will certainly explore this idea more in articles to come.

Ticket from the concert.